Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
