come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
