I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
