What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
