I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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