good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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