He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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