Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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