I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize