One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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