he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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