oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
