We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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