Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
