you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
