Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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