she looked like the before picture.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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