The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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