remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
