did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize