She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
