i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
There r osticjed everywhere
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
