I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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