I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
