Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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