problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
