sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize