he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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