well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
