Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
