I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
