I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
