it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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