Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
