he shaved USA in his pubs
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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