And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
