i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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