I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
