Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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