I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
