i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
