I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
