oh god the rape fog is back!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
