apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My breasts were aching with rage.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
