i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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