gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
