ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize