I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
