i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
