Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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