I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
