we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
