no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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