apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
