I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Randomize
