you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
and you fell through a lawn chair
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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