I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
