We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
