Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
