At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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